NLP is the perspective of looking at the human brain as a program somewhat similar to a computer program which we can modify settings and configurations to alter the different states and outcome which we would like to achieve. It deals a lot with tapping into the potentials of the subconscious mind.
As mentioned below, after reading many books, watching videos and listening to audio on NLP, I have broken NLP down to 6 simple points.
(1) Mindset Reconstruction (Neuro)
(2) Increasing Behaviorial Flexibility (Neuro)
(3) Communicate With Clairty (Linguistic)
(4) Influencing With Integrity (Linguistic)
(5) Advanced Change Works (Programming)
(6) Psychology Of Self Management (Programming)
(1) Mindset Reconstruction (Neuro)
Whatever you focus on expands because you are directing energy towards your focus or thoughts. Ask yourself, are you focusing on what you want or what you don't want ? Let's say for example, I ask "Don't think of a ferrari" What's the first thing that came into your mind ? Exactly, a ferrari ! Now that you understand that even though we tell ourselves not to think of something but our subconscious mind stills processes that something and it appears in our mind almost instantly.
For example, if I want to secretly embed the word ice cream into your subconsicous mind with you knowing my intentions, I would say something like "I wouldn't eat too much ice cream, if I were you." and how would your mind process this ? What's the keyword or command that has been embedded into the listener's mind ? Yes, ice cream !
If you truly understand the 2 examples I just gave you, then you will know that if you are going for a job interview or presentation and if you keep reminding yourself not to be nervous, chances are you will end up very nervous because subconsciously you are telling yourself nervousness exist within you. Or if you are sitting for a test and you keep telling yourself that you won't fail and you won't forget your notes, chances are it will happen. Therefore, always begin with a positive end in mind, this is also known as outcome thinking. Beliefs are not facts, reality is !
(2) Increasing Behavioral Flexibility (Neuro)
There are a total of 4 type of learners in this world. They are visual, auditory, kinesthetic and auditory digital. Different type of people have different methods of learning and the key is to understanding which type of learners you are dealing with so that you can tailor your conversation or presentation to suit them. It is important both to be able to read other people's body language and to develop observational and adaptability skills.
Auditory learners are those who learns mainly by utilizing their sense of hearing and they prefer listening attentively to presenters and less graphical presentations or flashing of slides or they quickly lose interest in what you have to say.
Visual learners are those who learns by utilizing their sense of sight and they are people who prefer looking at powerpoint slides and presentations, if you are just merely talking without any graphical representation, they will likely to be bored by you.
Kinesthetic learners are those who learns by utilizing their sense of touch, they are very practical hands on type of people and wouldn't mind getting their hands dirty or occupied, they are great believers of the learning is in the doing itself, do not overload them with too much presentations as they will quickly lose interest in what you are saying and they can't wait to go to hands-on or practical labs.
Auditory digital learners are an interesting group of individuals who seem to have an ability to talk to themselves. You are probably thinking in your mind now "Is this true, can I really talk to myself." Well, I hate to break it to you, but by going through that sentence, you just talked to yourself subconsciously. They are those who go shopping and they can in their mind tell themselves "This dress or suit will look great on me without even trying, they have set their mind on it." The trying on of the outfit is basically just an action to reinforce their belief unless they have the tendency to be a little indecisive or are deterred by other factors such as price of the item, chances are they have already bought it in their mind before they even paid for it in real life.
We can often tell what kind of a learner a person is by looking at their eye patterns. It can sometimes be used to tell if a person is telling the truth by recalling from a past memory or telling a white lie by imagining the truth. Above is a graphical representation of eye patterns.
(3) Communicate With Clairty (Linguistic)
We can adopt a practical approach towards achieving better rapport with the CURE model and the SCORE model. This models are not taught in every NLP schools but believe me, if applied correctly, they will equip you with the ability to redirect a person's train of thoughts.
SCORE Model
Symptoms - These are the immediate signs that tell you there is a problem.
Causes - Which may be the antecedent conditions that gave rise to the symptoms, the intentions behind behaviours giving rise to the problem, or current constraints.
Outcomes - Your desired result or goal, where you want to get to.
Resources - The qualities, capabilities, reserves and help that you can bring to bear on solving the problem. These can be past, present or future.
Effects - The longer term, systemic and higher level results of the outcome.
CURE Model
Connect - Skills on paying attention and responding.
Understanding - Active listening, questions to facilitate understanding.
Reconstruct - Precision question to reshape people's assumption.
Empower - Linguistically move people from "point A to B"
(4) Influencing With Integrity (Linguistic)
We should adopt a multi directional thinking which will enable us to look at any situation from at least 4 different perspectives. We called it "Out of the box" thinking and using language to reframe a person's thinking. We can use language to pace and lead someone. Another good method is to use laterally thinking, using analogies and stories to make a point. We can also understand and use suggestive language patterns.
This exercise will illustrate how one can look at a situation from a different perspective or adopt an "Out of the box thinking."
Firstly, I would want you to focus on the cube above and search for an entrance that is facing or nearest to you. Then focus on that entrance as you focus on this entrance, I want you to ask yourself subconsciously "Could there be another entrance which I am not seeing on this cube ?"
Secondly, now I want you to take a step back and look at the cube as whole again. Taking your time, this time carefully analyze the same cube and search for the 2nd entrance to this cube. If you have found it, ask yourself "How come you did not see it or notice it the first time round ?" Do you think there is a possibility that others who are doing this exercise could have choose that as their first entrance ?
Lastly, now that you have located both the entrances, I want you to take a step back and now try to focus on both the entrances at the same time. Now do you see what I mean by looking at the same situation but taking a different perspective ? I hope this simple exercise has brought across an important point, if we are able to use this same approach to view different situations from different angles, we will not be constraint by our own limiting beliefs.
(5) Advanced Change Works (Programming)
We all have inner conflicts which is often caused by limited beliefs that exist in our subconscious mind. These can often be self sabotaging. One of the point I want to bring across in the next exercise is that your mind and body are one, if you don't believe, please kindly do the below exercise.
First exercise, I want you to cross your arms across your chest while sitting down infront of your PC, then cross your legs to form an X shape under your chair, now tilt your head 45 degrees facing down looking at the floor and then I want you to slowly shake your head from lef to right and let our a few depressing signs. What is the state of your mind and body now ? Is it in a low confidence and depressing state ? Okays, now is the part when I want you to maintain in that same posture, looking down, arms crossed tightly across your chest, shaking your head in disagreement from left to right and I want you to say out loud "I am very motivated." Are you able to do it ? Why not ? What do you think is in your subconscious mind that is telling you, this is difficult or almost impossible ? Proceed to the next exercise.
Second exercise, I want you to now stand on your two feets parallel to your shoulders, start to feel a bit of springing feeling as if you feel your feets becoming jumpy, place your arms by your side and let them hang freely, tilt your head 45 degrees upwards looking towards the ceiling or sky, smile a little bit but not too much, now tell yourself loudly "I am very depressed." Are you able to do it ? Why not ? What do you think is in your subconscious mind that is telling you, this is difficult or almost impossible ? Now do you agree, your mind and body are one ? Hope this exercise was useful for you as it was for me.
(6) Psychology Of Self Management (Programming)
Understanding and utilizing the "language of the mind" cognitive strategies by using mental focusing techniques. Generating and locking-in resourceful states such as confidence and calmness. Neutralizing dis-empowering states such as anxiety, anger and frustration. Moving from procrastination to motivation. This is the process of anchoring and anchoring happens in our everyday life. Can you recall a song or movie that both you and your loveone shared that brings you back right to the time of that happy memory, whenever you hear the song or see the movie, it acts as a anchor that triggers that memory.
Now we would like to try this exercise, describe how you feel yesterday when you go to work, when you wake up and before you go to sleep but in terms of weather. You will have to replace your feelings with the kind of weather you are experiencing. It could be any form of weather from simple sunshine to rainy, right down to monsoon and even hurricane. After you are sure of your weather, ask yourself "Do you have the power to change the weather you were in?" If you answer is yes, then you believe that you are in control of your life and if you answered no, you are someone who oftens feel trapped and that your life is controlled by others.
For those who answered no and believe passionately they cannot change the weather in their life, they often convince themselves that they are trapped and not in controlled. They may experience situations such as my husband makes me angry or I can't stand the children, they are driving me nuts. Or situations such as my boss always makes me angry and I am always arrowed with lots of jobs that are not suppose to be mine to start with. Now let me tell you in your face, you have a choice and you can change your weather if you remove your limiting belief and replace it with empowering beliefs. We are in control of our own lives and we can make our own choices. I agree that it is harder said than done but you first have to convince your mind that it is possible before any action follows.
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